Hello, Ladies

We see here the totally hot Old Spice Man, Isaiah Mustafa, the actor in those clever commercials that have now reached in the double-digit millions on YouTube. You know them: "Look at your man, now back to me. Now back at your man. Now back to me." Aside from being hilarious, these commercials also are wise. They touch on the heart of what women deem romantic, and are a lesson in what men should do for the women they court. 1. Tickets to that thing you love. This one is a no-brainer and men should copy it exactly. Buying a woman tickets to a hockey game the man loves is not showing that he cares for his woman. Sure, it's including her in his life, and that's good. But buying her tickets to whatever it is that she loves is showing that he accepts that she has a life, she has likes and dislikes, and she deserves to have her tastes acknowledged. Whatever "that thing" may be. He might go with her and learn to like what she likes, or he might be making a girls' night out possible. Whatever, it's a gesture that is all generosity. 2. Diamonds. This one is controversial. Do all women really want diamonds? Probably not. Still, all women do understand that a gift of precious jewelry is proof that our men view us as precious. The only exception is the man so loaded with money that he can fling a Cartier diamond bangle at any woman without the purchase making a dent in his bank account. But we're not talking about those men, are we? We're talking about the men most women are likely to meet, Joe Averages who could stand to learn a few things about pleasing women. 3. You're on a boat. This one is easy to interpret. A boat spells luxury to most people (I'll except those of you directly involved in the fishing industry), and luxury during a romantic courtship is another proof to the woman that she is important to the man. Why else would he go to the trouble and expense of obtaining a boat, if not to impress her? 4. I'm on a horse. Horses used to be necessities, but now they are pure luxuries. The man who looks good on a horse has an extra dimension to his life experience, and he's willing to take his woman there with him. Nice gift. 5. Swan dive into the best night of your life. Mr. Old Spice Man has been saying all it along: I will take you away from a drab, ordinary, workaday existence and show you true romance. Who can top that? Of course a successful courtship includes more than romantic gestures. A significant subtext of the Old Spice commercials is the message that men can bump up the quality of their lives by improving the romance in yours. Is this series of commercials selling lots of products? Yes. AdFreak.com reports a 107% increase in sales of Old Spice Bodywash. As a commercial, it's genius. But you knew that. I haven't touched on the cake the Old Spice Man baked himself in the dream kitchen he built by hand, and nobody actually said the words "hot tub" or "motorcycle." These are additional dimensions whereby men can please women by bringing excitement into their lives or by making dreams come true. Are we asking a lot of our men? Yes. Given the labor involved in making a home and raising a family, which most women do in addition to working full time, more than ever, women feel we deserve romance. These commercials serve as a reminder to both sexes that romance makes life more wonderful. Now look at your man.

Tiaras, anyone?

Have you ever worn a tiara? A generation of women today have, after several generations who thought them excessively formal and over the top. True to the Disney princess manner in which young girls are being raised in the U.S. today, many if not all of the recent crops of little girls have at one time or another worn a tiara. And you know that can lead to harder drugs, like wearing tiaras for real as an adult. Formal opportunities for tiara-wearing abound for the young. Aside from Halloween costumes, there also are ballet recital costumes, first communion formal wear (pretty close to a ballet costume, actually, since there are usually yards of pure white tulle, plus the obligatory tiara), quinceaneras, sweet sixteens, “prom” (which used to be “the prom” but has now lost its article), beauty pageants and debutante cotillions (yes, they still have these), and finally, bridesmaids or bridal gown gear. These are merely the formal social events in which females may play a leading role. A young girl or woman might wear a tiara as part of a family wedding or other big event, whether she’s the star of the show or part of the entourage, or not. I do not know if tiaras are being worn in clubs, because the only clubs near me are strip clubs (sorry; I live in a benighted state). I suspect that sometimes, with a little irony intended, young women do wear tiaras to clubs. Mostly, though, girls today wear tiaras with absolutely no irony. When one considers the Jersey girls phenomenon on television—a celebration of style that is smugly tacky and overdone—it is not hard to see that after the low-cut, skin-tight, leopard-skin clothes, the sky-high heels, the pedicure and French manicure, the applications of eyelash and hair extensions, and more (much more), slipping a discreet little tiara into all that teased hair would not even seem outré. By contrast to all this excessive feminine display, most contemporary romances feature down-to-earth females as their heroines. Paranormal romances, still the hot trend, explicitly display Goth-inspired dressing on their covers, but nothing fussy or old-style Kelly Osborne. Those paranormal heroines carry swords and knives and guns, and wear black leather pants and simple tank tops that show their tattoos. They don’t wear false eyelashes, there’s no lip gloss or eyeshadow, and they’d probably skewer you with a sword for accusing them of doing hair extensions. Their Goth accessories do not include a schoolgirl’s uniform or a maid’s apron, so beloved of Japanese Goth. These action heroines are not wearing tiaras at any time. The more moderate, standard romance heroines, those middle-class, middle-of-the-road girls, probably aren’t wearing tiaras either, because they aren’t quite confident enough to swing out with such an exaggerated display of their femininity. These are the girls who sometimes still have to be coaxed to try on a pair of sexy heels. Femininity is not the issue, merely the display of it. There simply is no universally accepted proper mode of dress for a woman anymore in our society. Women at the highest level, such as Hillary Rodham Clinton, Michelle Obama, Meryl Streep, and Aretha Franklin, don’t affect the same style even at the same events. Other notable public figures wear such a wide variety of clothes that it is clear that each woman today gets to create her style herself, influenced, of course, by her family and her social milieu and a host of other considerations. Which leads me back to tiaras. Although the makeover is still a beloved rite of womanhood, turning an awkward, coltish young girl into a sleek swan ready for the plucking by some man of the world is not what romances portray today. Instead, they celebrate increased confidence. That’s where the tiaras come in. The heroine of a romance always does some growing during the story, which in some romances gives her the impetus or even the opportunity (perhaps delayed by a plot circumstance) to create a more complete adult womanly image. But does she travel the entire distance from, say, a mud-splattered horse trainer to a tiara-wearing girly-girl? Does wearing a tiara mean anything specific? I don’t have the answers, but I do know where to find the tiaras. Go to Mad Hattery.com for the greatest collection of royal, princely, ducal, and otherwise upper-crust tiaras you're likely to find anywhere. Wearing these amazing jewels are genuine princesses. See what you think. Are you interested in trying one on?