Timeless Romance: It’s Not Old, It’s Art

Often I post book covers to illustrate this blog, but today, we’re dipping way back into the past, and I’ve got gorgeous, vintage sheet music. Before there were records, let alone CDs, mp3s, and so on, even before there was radio, there was sheet music. Americans entertained themselves by playing the piano—the must-have home possession of a century ago—and they bought sheet music by the millions. That’s why, despite World War paper drives and epidemic scares requiring that used (and possibly virus-carrying) paper be destroyed, these vintage works of art are now easily available. But most people are unaware of just how attractive these covers are. Take “One Alone,” for instance, from “The Desert Song,” a very popular 1926 operetta by Sigmund Romberg. It’s comic book style art, a line drawing contrasting with a brightly colored background. We’ve got a serene, boyish sheik, and a cute, flapper girl who looks surprised at being carried off in his arms. Charming, and it deliberately sends a message that this story is played strictly for romance and fun. In fact, the plot is all about a Clark Kent type whose secret identity is the dashing robe-clad hero.

The cover for “Diane” is a close-up of two people desperately holding onto each other (actress Janet Gaynor and Charles Farrell, very big stars in their day). Their embrace points clearly to the melodrama of this movie’s pre-Hays censorship plot, which involves prostitution and lots of misery. “Diane” is a song I don’t know, from a movie I’ve never heard of, “7th Heaven.” But once I got to the chorus, “Smile for me, my Diane” the song was familiar. It’s only an 82-year-old song. Why shouldn’t it be familiar? Yeah, irony intended. My tweener godchild has never heard of it, of course. The television variety shows that kept those songs alive are long gone, although probably some cabaret singers still sing them.


I’ve never been a Bing Crosby fan, but just look at the beauty of “Moonstruck,” in which he stands holding long-forgotten actress Mary Carlisle, who leans back trustingly in his arms. It’s from an infinitely forgettable 1933 movie called “College Humor,” which has a typical college football hijinks kind of story. But what a romantic photograph, in a page so delicately designed and colored that it looks like a painting.

Some songs were published without any photos or drawings of people. Look at this cover for “How Deep is the Ocean” for elegance of composition. Perhaps because it was written by Irving Berlin, the greatest American songwriter of the 20th century, there was no need to use people, whether drawn or photographed. All these covers share one vital element: they are romantic. In different ways, it’s true. “One Alone” is lightly and pretty. “Diane” has a passionate clinch. “Moonstruck” is more subtly suggestive about romance and passion. “How Deep is the Ocean” asks one to enter a romantic world of simplicity, represented by the stark, affecting design.

The popularity of sheet music (and pianos) declined as radio and the movies took over as central entertainment in American life. But regardless of the fate of sheet music, and the old songs, the romance implied by the beautiful artwork on these sheet music covers is timeless.

Is Romance Only for Old People?

A new humor book, How Not to Act Old, strongly suggests that only Old People use terms like “making love” and “sleeping with.” Young People say “having sex,” and “f**king.” Yikes. And that’s how they think, too. It’s just sex to them. Not love or romance.

The book, by Pamela Redmond Satran, includes a guide to how different generations approach disclosures about their sexual behavior. For instance, teenagers and college students typically share online and on Twitter all the details of their sexual encounters (yes, all). The older the generation is, the less is shared.

This is a broad generalization, to be sure. I can remember a girl in college who insisted on having a discussion with me about nipple color. (I guess she was ahead of her time.) And over the years, I have known people whose sexual behavior was far wilder or far more restrained than the supposed norm of my generation. So it is reasonable to assume that whatever your sexual behavior and your habits of sharing or not sharing, you might not match exactly what Satran claims your generation does. Come to think of it, I had a chat with an older woman years ago about the difficulties involved in performing oral sex when you wear dentures.

Oh, ick. But we’re safe now. According to Satran, people under thirty never read past the third paragraph of anything, and they hate details. So let’s talk about romance, shall we? No matter how many times people claim that romance is dead and love does not exist, only sex, we know that is not true. Hollywood celebrities may not bother to marry, because there’s a lot of money at stake each time they do. But normal people do. And we don’t do it to have someone support us, thank you very much, or cook for us, or whatever. We do it because we are in love. While it’s probably true that every generation has its touchstone romantic gestures (passionate billets doux having given way to passionate e-mails), basic romantic behavior does not change. And a gift of flowers still seems charming and even unusual today.

But what about romance? How can there be romance when people might meet and have sex that very night? Obviously, the romance is all in the relationship growth, as it always has been. Relationships are made before, during, and after sexual behavior. Eye contact across a room, in a repressive society. Or a formal visit, chaperoned, and a few guarded words that express so much more. A date that ends with both people still liking each other and wanting to see more of each other. That could be the first night, or the first morning after. And then there is always the transcending power of lovemaking itself. Oh, call it sex, it’s a shorter word. My point is that anyone who has ever had sex will tell you (if you don’t already know this, and I hope you do) that there can be a moment during sex when something happens that goes way beyond one’s nerves getting a shot of excitement. It transcends the physical and crosses over to the emotional or spiritual. (I’m not picky about labels.) And the major purpose of romance is to find that person with whom the sex has the potential to be more than just sex, so that every day of your life, you are living happily with an added dimension of intimacy between you and that other who is also part of you. It’s called love.

Oh, sure, romance is customarily supposed to end in marriage and babies and perpetuating civilization. But people would not look for romance so desperately if they were not aware on some level that it is possible to achieve a bond with another human being that goes beyond exchanging rings and bodily fluids. So here’s to romance, which can never be merely the province of Old People or Young People, but is always the hope of All People.