Tiaras, anyone?

Have you ever worn a tiara? A generation of women today have, after several generations who thought them excessively formal and over the top. True to the Disney princess manner in which young girls are being raised in the U.S. today, many if not all of the recent crops of little girls have at one time or another worn a tiara. And you know that can lead to harder drugs, like wearing tiaras for real as an adult. Formal opportunities for tiara-wearing abound for the young. Aside from Halloween costumes, there also are ballet recital costumes, first communion formal wear (pretty close to a ballet costume, actually, since there are usually yards of pure white tulle, plus the obligatory tiara), quinceaneras, sweet sixteens, “prom” (which used to be “the prom” but has now lost its article), beauty pageants and debutante cotillions (yes, they still have these), and finally, bridesmaids or bridal gown gear. These are merely the formal social events in which females may play a leading role. A young girl or woman might wear a tiara as part of a family wedding or other big event, whether she’s the star of the show or part of the entourage, or not. I do not know if tiaras are being worn in clubs, because the only clubs near me are strip clubs (sorry; I live in a benighted state). I suspect that sometimes, with a little irony intended, young women do wear tiaras to clubs. Mostly, though, girls today wear tiaras with absolutely no irony. When one considers the Jersey girls phenomenon on television—a celebration of style that is smugly tacky and overdone—it is not hard to see that after the low-cut, skin-tight, leopard-skin clothes, the sky-high heels, the pedicure and French manicure, the applications of eyelash and hair extensions, and more (much more), slipping a discreet little tiara into all that teased hair would not even seem outré. By contrast to all this excessive feminine display, most contemporary romances feature down-to-earth females as their heroines. Paranormal romances, still the hot trend, explicitly display Goth-inspired dressing on their covers, but nothing fussy or old-style Kelly Osborne. Those paranormal heroines carry swords and knives and guns, and wear black leather pants and simple tank tops that show their tattoos. They don’t wear false eyelashes, there’s no lip gloss or eyeshadow, and they’d probably skewer you with a sword for accusing them of doing hair extensions. Their Goth accessories do not include a schoolgirl’s uniform or a maid’s apron, so beloved of Japanese Goth. These action heroines are not wearing tiaras at any time. The more moderate, standard romance heroines, those middle-class, middle-of-the-road girls, probably aren’t wearing tiaras either, because they aren’t quite confident enough to swing out with such an exaggerated display of their femininity. These are the girls who sometimes still have to be coaxed to try on a pair of sexy heels. Femininity is not the issue, merely the display of it. There simply is no universally accepted proper mode of dress for a woman anymore in our society. Women at the highest level, such as Hillary Rodham Clinton, Michelle Obama, Meryl Streep, and Aretha Franklin, don’t affect the same style even at the same events. Other notable public figures wear such a wide variety of clothes that it is clear that each woman today gets to create her style herself, influenced, of course, by her family and her social milieu and a host of other considerations. Which leads me back to tiaras. Although the makeover is still a beloved rite of womanhood, turning an awkward, coltish young girl into a sleek swan ready for the plucking by some man of the world is not what romances portray today. Instead, they celebrate increased confidence. That’s where the tiaras come in. The heroine of a romance always does some growing during the story, which in some romances gives her the impetus or even the opportunity (perhaps delayed by a plot circumstance) to create a more complete adult womanly image. But does she travel the entire distance from, say, a mud-splattered horse trainer to a tiara-wearing girly-girl? Does wearing a tiara mean anything specific? I don’t have the answers, but I do know where to find the tiaras. Go to Mad Hattery.com for the greatest collection of royal, princely, ducal, and otherwise upper-crust tiaras you're likely to find anywhere. Wearing these amazing jewels are genuine princesses. See what you think. Are you interested in trying one on?

Addicted to Love?

Are you? Addicted to love, wanting to live in the world of romance every day? In the world of romance, problems may be huge, but there is always a strong, competent hero to solve them. Maybe he’ll cut through all opposition with a Scottish claymore. Maybe he’ll pierce his opponent with the brilliantly executed thrust of an epée in a duel. Or maybe he’ll make his dramatic checkmate move in a corporate boardroom, or on the floor of the U.S. Senate, or piloting a secret agency helicopter. Wherever a romance heroine faces danger, the hero is nearby, soon to arrive to save her, Or, in our newly more equal urban fantasy world, to help her save the day. Strong heroines, weak heroines, and everyday heroines, they’re all ideal women to romance heroes. These amazing men love us. Wow. Do you need some of this every day, just to get through your day? Just a peek at the new book, maybe just one chapter, only a little more.... oops, where did the hours go? If that’s you, then you’re addicted to love. You need that high of dipping into a world in which good things happen to good people, justice triumphs, wrongs are righted, ambitions are fulfilled, love is rewarded with love returned, lost relatives are found, cranky relatives are softened, babies are born perfect, and kids of all ages pass through their annoying phases and start doing their chores. And where, most of all, there is a special someone who loves the heroine wholeheartedly, who of course is you. At least for as long as you’re existing in the world of the book. This is not a dangerous addiction, not exactly. Luxuriating in the world of romance doesn’t mean you’re not firmly based in reality. It’s not a waste of your time, either, although I have met people who think all fiction is a waste of time. They’re wrong, of course. Entering the world of romance is refreshing, invigorating, and most of all life-affirming. Yes, I know that some romances are full of tears and misery, and others rife with dripping blood and challenging power dynamics amongst otherworldly creatures. And some romances just seem incredibly frivolous. Regardless, romances have happy endings, and that’s the point. In a romance, a problem will be articulated, lived through, and resolved. The reader (that’s you) is left with a rosy inner glow, a certainty that everything can work out for the best, that people will communicate, and that the world is basically a good place. These are important certainties to have, because it is mostly attitude that affects our experience of day-to-day life. The more positive we are, the more positively the world responds to us. Many people are going through tough times in our society at any given moment, and it’s easy to look around the world and see lots of reasons to feel hopeless. Reading a romance reinforces optimism. Reading a romance will not make you sit in the front parlor waiting for a knight in shining armor to ride up to the door and fix your life. Instead, because reading a romance shows you that many seemingly impossible odds can be beaten, to some degree it’s a primer on how to motivate yourself to act. Or to keep on acting. Because life is going to be happy after all. Of course you might say this is hogwash. Such a quaint old American term for nonsense. But think about it for a minute. The world inside a romance looks and feels like the real world, only the issues are clearer, and so are the solutions. They aren’t much different in spirit from the stories of real-life individuals that are peppered throughout self-help or self-improvement nonfiction books. But in a romance, you follow the story intimately, getting to experience the problems and the solutions (and let’s face it, the great sex, too) as if the heroine is you. Given that, it’s not surprising that when the happy ending occurs, the reader of a romance feels happy, too. It’s not so bad to be addicted to love.